


Get Stuffed

by gonnaflynow



Series: Eruri Week 2014 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dirty Talk, Eruri Week, Eventual Sex, Food, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Thanksgiving, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:24:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonnaflynow/pseuds/gonnaflynow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang's all here to celebrate Thanksgiving, and Erwin has ulterior motives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Eruri Week Day Three – Home/Domestic
> 
> This fic took on a life of its own, so in the interest of your drawn-out reading pleasure and my sanity, I've decided to present it in chapters.

“My, Levi, you’re looking awfully delicious in that sweater. Is it new?”

“Erwin, do not even _start_ with me today.”

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” Erwin threw a wink and a smile in Levi’s direction before turning his attention back to the celery and onions sautéing on the stove. “I’m surprised you have your nice clothes on this early. We have a lot of cooking to do before everyone arrives, and I wouldn’t want you getting all dirty. Ah, well, unless that part was my fault.”

Levi grumbled and pushed past Erwin into the pantry, emerging with his favorite red apron and shrugging it on over his head. “Did you ever consider the fact that I’m an adult and maybe, _possibly_ , can cook without getting myself filthy.”

“I did consider it. Then I started thinking about all the things I’d like to do to you in this kitchen and got—”

Levi ripped open the bag of marshmallows and shoved one in Erwin’s mouth as he passed by, tossing the bag back on the counter and rolling his eyes as he headed towards the refrigerator.

“Calm your shitty dick for once. I’ll fuck you after we eat, if you still have the energy and aren’t too busy passing out from all the food like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that…”

“You’re _supposed_ to get stuffed on Thanksgiving, Levi, that’s the whole point,” Erwin groaned.

Levi stopped, slowly turning around with a big bowl of fresh cranberries in his hands. “You did not just make that pun. You did _not_ just fucking go there.”

“Did I? I… oh.”

“I’ll say it again: _calm_ your _dick._ ” The door to the fridge slammed shut with a nudge of Levi’s elbow. He slid the cranberries onto the counter without a second thought, immediately heading back to the pantry in search of the food processor. “I thought about giving you a quick blowjob right now just to shut you up,” he called, Erwin’s eyes darting back and forth from the vegetables to Levi with interest, “but knowing you, you’d be wiped out for the next hour and I’d have to get the prep done for both of us, and no way in fuck is that happening today.”

“I would not be wiped out for an _hour_ ,” Erwin whined, giving the pan a shake and frowning ineffectively in Levi’s direction.

“You would, don’t lie to yourself,” said Levi, reappearing from the pantry with food processor in hand. “I might have considered it if you’d done more of the prep last night, like you said you would. Hand me that orange, would you?”

“I did do the prep, technically, with all that last minute shopping yesterday,” Erwin pointed out, abandoning his vegetables to grab an orange from the fruit bowl. “Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Sure, but not enough for me to give you a break.”

The sizzling of the pan began to wind down as Erwin flipped off the burner, stealing behind Levi’s back and wrapping his arms around him before he could utter a word in protest.

“Sorry. Here’s your orange,” he whispered, mouth hovering to the right of Levi’s face before he planted a kiss on the top of the shell of his ear and flitted away towards the spice rack.

“Erwin, I want you to ask yourself: was that necessary?” Levi groaned.

“One hundred percent,” Erwin assured him, catching Levi’s hidden smile through his mock-grumpy tone and nearly stabbing his thigh on the corner of a cabinet door as he pondered for the upteeth time how thankful he was for his Levi.

“Sentimental old man. Why did I marry you?”

“That’s a rhetorical question and you know it.”

“Ah yes, who _wouldn’t_ want to marry handsome, talented Erwin Smith. Actually, I just hitched up with you for your huge—”

“Heart? Filled with love for you?” Erwin supplied.

Levi snorted derisively. “Among other things. And that’s not the only thing that’s gotten filled around here.”

“Look who’s making overt sexual references now,” Erwin taunted.

“How dare you. You’ve dragged me down to your level. Again.”

“I love you too, husband mine. And I’m looking forward to the post-meal sex.”

“Jesus.” Levi turned on the food processor to tune out Erwin’s next response, but Erwin appeared behind him to reach over his head for the bag of stuffing mix.

“No, he won’t be joining us,” Erwin grinned, trying and failing to hide a laugh behind his hand.

“Was that a giggle?” Levi shot Erwin a look of incredulity over his shoulder. “Are you _giggling_ at your own terrible dad joke?” 

“Am not.” The giggling turned into belly-shaking laughter that had Erwin clutching his stomach and grasping the countertop for dear life.

“Yes you are. Totally are. Stop laughing, that joke was awful! Erwin! You don’t get to laugh!” This, of course, only made Erwin laugh harder as he slowly made his way around the kitchen island to the countertop opposite Levi. Levi shut off the food processor with an irate click. “Shut the _fuck_ up, Erwin, we have work to do! Get your head out of your ass!”

“Don’t you mean get _my_ head out of your ass?” Erwin winked, dumping the stuffing mix and the vegetables into a bowl before popping the top on the parsley. “I thought you liked it when I licked into you and opened you up...”

The tips of Levi’s ears had begun to match the shade of his apron, though Erwin couldn’t tell whether it was from embarrassment, arousal, frustration, or all of the above. “Finish the stupid stuffing and stop harassing me. We have to get going with this food prep, okay? And you’re not helping.”

“I’m sorry, babe,” Erwin said sincerely. “I’ll leave you alone.”

Levi clicked the food processor back on with a huff and began to add the orange piece by piece. “You don’t have to leave me alone, dumbass, I just ask that you veer towards less explicit topics of conversation.”

“I can do that.” 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” said Levi, rolling his eyes as the last bits of orange were dissected by the whirling blades.

“ _Hear_ it.”

“Fuck off!”

Erwin began to hum to himself as he poured the broth over the stuffing.

“Levi, would you be so kind as to grab the turkey from the island?”

“Yeah, give me a minute,” Levi shouted over the whir of the food processor. “Can I add the apples to this first?”

“Take your time,” Erwin called back. “I’m in no rush.”

“ _You_ may not be,” Levi muttered, the grinding noises slowing to a halt.

“What was that?” Erwin smiled smugly, completely aware of what Levi had said.

“You’re a slow cook and you ruin everything.”

“Ruin everything by making all other food seem bland in comparison to mine, you mean.”

Levi snorted, abandoning his relish-in-progress for the turkey sitting on top of the stove. “Sure. That.” He set the pan on the counter next to Erwin’s bowl of stuffing and found himself faced with a sad pout, one he could imagine dating all the way back to Erwin’s childhood days.

“Come on, I know I’m not as good as you, but that was a low blow.”

“Shit, you’re so sensitive!” Levi scoffed, throwing his hands in the air and returning to his side of the kitchen. “You’re just fine at cooking. You’re actually better than anyone I know at cooking meat and not screwing it up.” Levi turned his back to Erwin, missing his raised eyebrows and knowing smirk.

“Really?”

“Yes really. I’ll have you recall the incident three years ago when Hange… never mind.”

“Best not to remember that,” Erwin agreed hastily. “Hey, Levi, how much stuffing are you supposed to put in the turkey again?”

Levi wrinkled his nose. “I dunno, how much did you make?”

“Can you come over here and help me evaluate? I made more than I thought, so I think I’ve got to make sure and stuff the bird nice and full, you see.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to fill it to bursti— _Erwin_.”

Erwin was wearing what could only be described as a lecherous grin as he slowly stretched the entrance to the turkey’s body cavity, easing his hand in and grunting as his knuckles finally slipped past. Levi could see his arm muscles rippling as he packed the stuffing in, and had never been quite so thankful Erwin had rolled up his sleeves.

“It’s a tight fit,” Erwin rumbled. “I can barely move my hand.”

“Erwin, _I swear to god_ ,” Levi hissed, grinding his teeth together as he tried to picture anything but Erwin’s thick fingers exploring _him_ instead, opening him up until three, four, five fingers could fit inside, and Levi was filled up so tight, so good, he couldn’t move without wave after wave of pleasure ripping him open…

“Son of a bitch,” he cursed under his breath, fingers clenching into fists as he looked down with a sneer to find his tight khaki pants were going to give him away.

“Levi, I need your help over here. Your hands are small and they’ll fit inside a lot more easily. Mine are just too _long_ and _thick_ , I think I’m going to stretch the bird too much...”

“You don’t have that much stuffing left, you can do it yourself,” Levi spat, breath rattling in his chest. “And you’re not _supposed_ to fill the turkey to bursting, anyway, I just told you… oh Christ, just quit your see-through attempt at seduction and put the god damn stuffing in a casserole dish.”

“Ah,” Erwin smiled, removing his hand with much less resistance than before, “it may be see-through, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working.”

“Fuck you,” Levi hissed, his grip on the counter turning white-knuckled.

“I’d welcome it.”

“ _Erwin if you don’t get that turkey in the oven in the next minute—_ ”

“Alright, alright,” Erwin laughed, dropping the seductive tone immediately. He gave his hands a cursory rinse before lifting the heavy pan with a grunt, setting it on top of the oven and checking the temperature before he slid the bird in and flipped on the oven light. “There. Done. Are you happy?”

“No,” said Levi, crossing his arms and frowning at his shoes as his husband sidled up next to him.

“Just thought I’d give you a little _taste_ of what’s coming later,” Erwin growled, hot breath gliding over Levi’s ear and triggering an involuntary shudder of pleasure. Levi spun around and grabbed Erwin by the shirt collar, hauling him down to his level.

“The next time you make a sex reference, I’m serving your balls as an appetizer. Am I clear, Smith?”

Erwin closed the distance with a kiss on Levi’s forehead, humming contentedly without a care in the world.

“Aye aye, my captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos hella appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Through some sort of miracle, Erwin and Levi managed to finish the cranberry relish, sweet potato casserole, and roasted squash before the doorbell rang.

“Can you get it?” Levi called, poised in front of the sink with a potato in hand. “I’m almost up to my elbows in peelings, here.”

“Sure,” said Erwin, the chime sounding a second time as he started towards the door. “I think we know who it is already.”

“Open the door _slowly_ ,” Levi warned, sigh drowned out in the excited screech that followed.

“ _WE BROUGHT FOOD!_ ” Hange yelled, leaping over the threshold and into Erwin’s outstretched arms as Moblit struggled with the groceries behind her.

“If you didn’t, I instructed Erwin to slam the door in your face,” Levi shouted from the other room.

“And how is my favorite grumpy midget today?” Hange squealed, barging past a disoriented Erwin into the kitchen. En route to sweep Levi into her arms, she was stopped with the full force of his glare.

“Erwin’s already been pushing it today. Don’t you start, too.”

“Alright, you got it, shorty.” 

“Hange...” Moblit popped his head around the corner, a concerned grimace on his face. “I wouldn’t insult the guy who’s making most of the meal today.”

“Damn smart, that one is,” Levi motioned with his knife. “You should keep him.” Moblit spluttered, a blush rising on his cheeks, and ducked back around the corner. Hange planted a loud kiss on Levi’s cheek and skittered away.

“Hey, where are Mike and Nana?” she asked. “Thought they would have been here by now, they usually beat us to things.”

“I’ll check my phone,” said Erwin, shutting the door behind Moblit as he carried in the crockpot with the green bean casserole. Erwin plucked the bag of dinner rolls off the lid just as they were about to tumble to the floor, to Moblit’s relief. “I’m sure they can’t be too far behind.”

True to his prediction, when Erwin went to fetch his phone from the charger, a text from Mike was waiting, saying they would be at the house in twenty minutes. 

“When was that sent?” Levi called over.

Erwin swiped right on Mike’s message. “...fifteen minutes ago.”

“Glad we won’t have to wait much longer for pre-dinner drinks,” Hange crowed, to laughter all around.

“I think I hear something outside now,” said Levi, peering out the kitchen window. “Yep, it’s their car. That was fast.”

“Does this mean I get to raid the liquor cabinet?” Hange exclaimed.

Levi gave Erwin a look.

“Well, she did do a bang-up job on the drinks last year, Levi, you have to admit,” Erwin chuckled. Levi’s hands dropped to his sides, a fazed look on his face. It took Erwin a moment to realize his terrible wordplay, but when he did, he shot Levi a covert version of his lecherous smile from earlier. Levi paled even further.

“Let’s wait until they get in the door, at the very least?” he said quickly, voice rising in pitch. 

Before the tension had a chance to build up any more, the doorbell provided Erwin a convenient excuse to run and greet their guests. He flung the door open much too wide for a thirty degree day, Levi peering through the liquor cabinet, looking for any kind of distraction. 

“Erwin,” Mike boomed, grinning ear-to-ear and holding a pie in one hand. Next to him was Nanaba, looking beatific as she stood wrapped in a giant scarf and holding a second pie.

“Welcome,” Erwin said warmly, beckoning them in from the cold. 

“Sorry if you were expecting us earlier,” Mike grumbled lightheartedly, moving towards Erwin for a one-armed hug. “We got caught in an awful traffic jam on the highway. Three car pile-up, the radio was telling us.”

“Mike wiggled out of it and took us on the back roads the rest of the way here,” Nanaba chirped. “If he hadn’t, who knows, we might have been anywhere from half an hour to two hours later than we were already.”

“Good thinking,” said Erwin, clapping Mike on the back before releasing him from the hug. “You made it in perfect time, don’t even worry about being late. Hange’s just getting the drinks started, last I checked.”

“Alright, you big worrywart, we won’t.” Nanaba slipped in for her hug and gave Erwin a tiny kiss on the cheek, hopping up the step to the kitchen and following Mike.

In the interim between when Erwin left to get the door and when he returned to the kitchen, Hange had already managed to make three drinks and was working on concocting a forth. Levi had put the potatoes on to boil and was leaning against the counter, sipping a gin and tonic and enjoying his moment of reprieve, and the glass next to Hange was already half drained – Erwin hoped it was mostly seltzer. 

“Erwin, you still an old fashioned guy?” Hange yelled.

“I am, sure, that sounds great.”

“Good, because that’s what I made you. Come and get it so I can greet our other guests.” Hange slid the tumbler halfway down the kitchen island and leapt towards Mike, who had just finished taking off his coat, colliding with his sturdy frame in nothing less than a tackle.

“Good to see you too, Hange,” Mike laughed, surprising her by picking her up and whirling her around. When her feet were finally back on the ground, she dizzily stumbled over towards Nanaba for a second hug before retreating back to the corner and her makeshift bar setup.

“Drink orders, you two? The boys here have some _really_ good bourbon that you _have_ to try…”

“I believe the correct order of proceedings is ‘Levi, may I _please_ have some of your expensive, small-batch bourbon to make drinks that are too strong on an empty stomach?’”

“Yeah. That. What he said. Whaddya say?”

“Well, we haven’t eaten, Levi’s right,” Nanaba laughed, threading her scarf through the coat hanger and shutting the closet door.

“Now I’m extra glad I did last minute shopping,” said Erwin, making his way to the fridge and producing a platter of baked brie with homemade fruit compote. “Maybe this will help a bit, you two. I figured we could all use something while we wait.”

“You did do some prep after all,” Levi noted, nodding in Erwin’s direction.

“Just not of the actual dinner dishes,” Erwin amended, searching the cabinet above the smaller pantry until he found a box of garlic crostinis. “I figured it probably wouldn’t count.”

“Nice to know we won’t die of hunger while waiting for the bird you put in so late,” said Levi, rolling his eyes and grabbing a hot pad off a hook at the end of the island. “Really great thinking on your part. Knew there was a reason I married you.”

“I do try,” Erwin grinned, spreading a generous amount of the crostinis around the plate and placing it on the counter. Hanji, Mike, and Nanaba immediately descended on the offered food, the other men laughing as half the brie and all of the crostinis disappeared within minutes.

Erwin eyed Levi from across the island as he checked the boiling potatoes, frowning when the one he pulled out stuck to his fork with tenacity. He resigned himself to a few more minutes of waiting with a tiny sigh, setting down the fork in favor of his gin and tonic, when a shadow fell across his vision.

“Happy Thanksgiving, babe,” Erwin smiled, clicking his glass against Levi’s.

“Trying to butter me up again, I see,” Levi groaned. “I didn’t think _I_ was going to be the main dish at this meal.” Erwin smothered a grin and leaned in conspiratorially.

“You might as well start calling yourself Butterball because after dinner, all bets are off,” he whispered, fingers tracing the side of Levi’s neck as it began to flush tellingly.

“That was the lamest come-on I have ever heard,” Levi growled. “The worst. You are a terrible husband.”

“You won’t be saying that later when I have your dick down my throat. Or vice versa, since you actually _wouldn’t_ be able to talk that way.”

“I am _so done_ , Erwin, I _fucking swear_ —”

Erwin pressed a chaste kiss to Levi’s warm cheek and pulled away, looking for all the world like he had been swapping love confessions with his partner instead of dirty fantasies. Levi grumbled under his breath and elbowed Erwin in the side, the blow glancing off like a punch thrown by a child.

“God you two, put a lid on it,” Mike scoffed. “You make the rest of us look bad.”

“Erwin’s going to be the only one looking bad here if he doesn’t help me with the potatoes,” Levi said pointedly, directing a glare Erwin’s way when the others weren’t looking.

“I thought you wanted me to keep an eye on the turkey,” said Erwin, blue eyes widening innocently.

Levi squinted. “That too.”

“I’m only one man, Levi, how do you expect me to do all of that? Inconceivable!” Erwin threw his hands in the air when Levi grabbed the potato fork threateningly, prompting a laugh from the gathered audience. The turkey timer began to beep, breaking the moment, but on his way to the oven Erwin couldn’t resist a covert pinch to Levi’s ass through the alluringly tight khakis. Levi scowled deeply to hide his flinch, flicking the burner off and camouflaging his reddened face in the thick steam.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos hella appreciated.


End file.
